Finger Trapped

One aspect, which is important (maybe most important), is that at one point I had the sense, feeling, impression that I ought to be writing this down. The moment in the dream was (to my dream self) a moment of inspiration for a story. It’s elusive now exactly what moment that impression was in relation to, but I think that it had to do with a vibrantly purple tree. Or rather a grove of trees but with one at the forefront of my notice. Deeply veined purple leaves, abundant, voluminous, filling both the branches and the ground which was comprised (under the leaves) of a green grass. There was something about sex, about a “tryst,” in relation to this tree. I’m unsure whether it was an experience that I had or which I witnessed (or learned of) someone else having. I can remember moisture with an overall soft dryness and a sense of verdancy and coolness and secrecy and a perfection of the moment… a kind of now.

The grove of trees was off to the side of a path in a vast public space. The grove was next to some center attraction that my mind at the moment cannot define: a building (house), a lake, a vast field, a carnival. I cannot focus on it but I know that it was huge and of no small importance and a center of something significant. The grove was kind of at the foot of a path which came down from another place and continued on around this center attraction and then diverged in several ways and went on to… I’m not sure where. Somewhere important and/or back where it had began but in a different way. The entire thing was on a very large scale and yet of the most natural and simple character. Densely populated throughout but not crowded. There was too much space for there to be a crowd. It was all immediate and visible yet impossible to focus on, allowing for privacy amongst a throng of many.

The place where the path came down from was reached by a long, mostly empty road. Dirt but clean. An abundance of undefined life (flowers, trees, places) alongside it. The path was the main thoroughfare from the large, complicated place from which I had begun. This was a road that was simultaneously impossible, long yet very short. I think that it depended on your ability and the forces against you rather than the road itself. It was relative.

I remember waking up and immediately realizing that it was too late. I’m now not sure for what or why. I do have the sense that a lot went on and occurred before I fell asleep as well as while I was asleep. I remember confusion, fatigue, a sense of the need to do some kind of damage control and failing utterly because I couldn’t see well, had no balance, was so tired. (These last three are all recurring dream motifs for me.) I also remember a feeling of peace, a room of peace, and the sleep having been so good. I don’t know at all what was going on but it was very complicated and went backwards and forwards for a long time. It was a school, a jail, a play, a hospital, a vast hive mind complicated beyond compare. There was a balcony, a counter, stairs, a team, teammates, infinite details. The thing which I should note now/here is that I have a very strong sense that the “me” in the dream, the perspective I was witnessing it from, was not that of myself.

And at some point I left the place, went on the path, had the sense of an obligation to write in relation to the grove. A million experiences may have happened to me now I really can’t say or tell. I know that intermittently the sense of fatigue, blindness, disorientation came back but that it was interspersed with moments of startling clarity. There were many flowers, vegetation, and choices all nebulous and lost to me now.

The most significant aspect of the dream, however, is that I can see it now in vast panoramic ariel swathes. Bursts of terrible clarity and visual detail even for all the vague impressionistic quality of it. The thing is that I can see it. That it is nearly as visual as “reality” or at least reality with my vision uncorrected. Visual with a heavy, heavy emphasis on vivid color. My dreams are never this way. They are very physical, sensation based, with a heavy emphasis on thought/word/idea. It is very hard for me to think in pictures and in terms of spatial relations but these are (relatively, subjectively) clear elements for me in relation to this dream. Yet the other–the physical sensation and idea/word/thought–components were/are also there.